What do you think of when you hear the word “Relationship”? Most of us first think of romantic love, the love for our children, our parents, our friends. But how many of us stop to consider the love for ourselves? How does this love show up in our lives? Is this an area you never even think about? Is it something you’ll focus upon when you are not so busy or preoccupied with making it through whatever is your current focus?
Many of us know we should be making time for ourselves but there just never seems to be the right time. We say we want a different reality and all we seem to do is continue our journey on the hamster wheel. What keeps you in perpetual movement and yet not feeling like you are getting closer to your wishes and dreams, and all those things you talk about with your friends? Could it be FEAR? Fear of not knowing what you truly want. Fear you are unable to live your dreams. Fear of where you’ll end up when you do something about your dissatisfaction with things as they are.
There are many reasons for you not taking action. One of those reasons I propose is that you may not like yourself now and what if you end up disliking yourself even more? I find it interesting that we loftily speak of loving ourselves, it’s a noble emotion after all. But liking ourselves is so ordinary and because it’s so obvious and a commonplace idea it is often overlooked.
My husband has always paid me what I consider the highest of compliments, when he tells me how much he likes me. He says that while he loves me what seals it for him is that he likes me more. When he says this to me, it helps me to remember to look at what I DO and don’t like about myself. More than at any other time, due to the division and insecurity of current events facing ourselves may feel like it’s just too big of a burden to tackle now.
When will be a good time? When life has left you exhausted trying to keep a happy face on? When illness comes to visit? Or when your life has been turned upside down by a death or a separation? I claim that until our relationship with ourselves is addressed, we will continue to be on the hamster wheel instead of behind the wheel of our own lives.
Yes, it takes desire and courage to move toward your dreams no matter how big or how small or insignificant they might seem. Afterall they are your dreams, and you are deserving of living them out right here and right now. For too long we, especially women or those in nurturing roles, have left ourselves out of the equation of needs as we serve our businesses, our jobs, our families, our friends, our communities. You can’t do any of these things if you don’t first fill up your own cup and give to others the overflow.
How would it feel and look for you to have a life of more harmony brought on by finding the balance between the aspects of your life so that you are in the driver’s seat en-joying what you are creating and living each day?